


Incorrect GoT

by Shining_M00nlight5679



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Friends (TV), Game of Thrones (TV), How I Met Your Mother, Mean Girls (2004)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Alternate Universe - Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV) Fusion, Alternate Universe - How I Met Your Mother Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Baby Ned, Babysitting, Bad Flirting, Bars and Pubs, Best Friends, Blushing, Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV) References, Cute Kids, Daddy Issues, Dating, Drabble Collection, Embarrassment, Engagement, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Friendship, Funny, Inspired by How I Met Your Mother, Jealousy, Kissing, Laser Tag, Lion King (1994) References, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mean Girls Quotes, Misunderstandings, Ned Stark Lives, Party, Pining, Police, Rhaegar Targaryen Being an Idiot, Sex, Siblings, Teasing, Theon Greyjoy is a Little Shit, Therapy, but fun not mean, porn star, the floor is lava
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:34:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 3,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26701525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shining_M00nlight5679/pseuds/Shining_M00nlight5679
Summary: Ned: Will you marry me?Robert: Yes!................................................Theon: Thanks, Dad... Why is everyone staring at me?Sandor: You just called Captain Stark dad; you said thanks, dad.Theon: What? No, I didn't. I said thanks, man.Ned: Do you see me as a father figure, Greyjoy?Theon: No, if anything, I see you as a bother figure, 'cause you're always bothering me.Jeor: Hey! You show your father some respect!GRRM characters in other Fandom etc.
Relationships: Arthur Dayne & Rhaegar Targaryen, Arthur Dayne/Elia Martell, Arya Stark & Ned Stark & Sansa Stark, Ashara Dayne & Elia Martell, Benjen Stark & Brandon Stark & Lyanna Stark & Ned Stark, Brandon Stark & Ned Stark, Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, Elia Martell & Rhaegar Targaryen, Jaime Lannister & Tyrion Lannister, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, Jon Arryn & Ned Stark, Jon Arryn & Robert Baratheon, Jon Snow & Robb Stark, Jon Snow & Robb Stark & Sansa Stark, Jon Snow/Ygritte, Loras Tyrell & Margaery Tyrell, Lysa Tully Arryn & Ned Stark, Renly Baratheon/Loras Tyrell, Robb Stark & Sansa Stark, Robb Stark/Margaery Tyrell, Robert Baratheon & Ned Stark, Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark, Sansa Stark & Margaery Tyrell, Satin Flowers/Jon Snow, Shireen Baratheon/Rickon Stark, Theon Greyjoy & Ned Stark, Theon Greyjoy & Sansa Stark, Theon Greyjoy/Robb Stark, Theon Greyjoy/Sansa Stark
Comments: 20
Kudos: 130





	1. S:1 Ep:1 (Ned/Cat, Robert)

Ned: Will you marry me?

Robert: Yes! Perfect! And then she says yes, you’re engaged, you pop the champagne, drink a toast, have sex on the kitchen floor.   
(THINKS) Don’t have sex on our kitchen floor.

Ned: Got it. Thanks for helping me plan this out, Robert.

Robert: Dude, it’s you and Cat! I’ve been there for all the big moments of you and Cat. The night you met, your first date...other first things. 

Ned (blushes): I’m sorry. We thought you were asleep.

Robert: It’s physics, Neddy. If the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves too.


	2. S:1 Ep:1 (Jon/Ygritte)

Jon and Ygritte climb into a taxi. Ygritte has a black eye. 

Jon: I'm sorry, Ygritte. I'm so sorry.   
(To driver) Take us to the hospital. 

Cabdriver: Whoa, whoa, whoa-did you hit her? 

Ygritte(Laughter): Hit me? Please, this guy could barely even spank me in bed for fun.   
He's all like, (makes a light slap movement) "Oh, did that hurt?" and I'm like, "Come on, let me have it you pansy!" (realizes) Wow, complete stranger. 

Cabdriver: no, no, no, no-it's okay, go on. So these, spankin's...you in pajamas or going "naturelle"


	3. S:1 Ep:1 (Robb, Theon, Jon, Margaery)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Margaery and Robb are engaed and Jon just had a date.

Robb: So? Did you kiss her? 

Jon: No. The moment wasn't right. (They sigh) Look, this woman could be my future wife, I want our first kiss to be amazing. 

Margaery: Aww, Jon that's so sweet. So you chickened out like the little bitch. 

Jon: What? I did not chicken out! You know what? I don't need to take first kiss advice from some pirate who hasn't been single since the first week of college. 

Margaery: Jon, anyone who's single would tell you the same thing. Even the dumbest single person alive, and if you don't believe me...call him. (Calls Theon) (Theon's playing laser tag on the other end of the line) 

Theon: (Phone) Hey loser, how's not playing laser tag? Because playing laser tag is awesome!   
Oh, I killed you Tommen; don't make me get your mom! 

Jon: Hey, listen. I need your opinion on something. 

Theon: Okay, meet me at the bar in fifteen minutes-AND SUIT UP!   
[Slides to Bar Scene]   
(Margery, Jon, Theon and Robb sitting at a table) 

Jon: So these guys think I chickened out. What do you think? 

Theon: I can't believe you're still not wearing a SUIT! 

Jon: She didn't even give me the signal. 

Theon: What is she gonna-is she gonna bat her eyes at you in Morse code (bats eyes)?? Jon (bats eyes) Kiss me-No, you just kiss her! 

Jon: Not if you don't get the signal. 

Theon: Ee-(Leans over and kisses Robb) Did Robb give me the signal? 

Robb: No! (To Margery) I didn't, I swear. 

Theon: But see-at least, tonight, I get to sleep knowing, Robb and Me... never going to happen. You should've kissed her.


	4. S:1 Ep:2 (Elia, Arthur, Rheagar)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elia and Arthur are together. And Rheagar is pining

Rhaegar: I got it! I don't ask her out... I invite her to our party next Friday. 

Arthur: We're having a party next Friday? 

Rheagar: We are now-Casual 

Ashara: Yeah, cuz nothing says "Casual" like inviting a hundred people over just to "Mac" on one girl. Oh, and Elia-that's my leg. 

Elia: You waited five minutes to tell me that? 

Arthur: Alright-so call her up! 

Rhaegar: No-calling's not casual! I just gotta bump into her somewhere. If only I knew her schedule I could arrange a "chance" encounter. 

Elia: That's great, Rheagar. You'll be the most "Casual" stalker ever.


	5. S:1 Ep:2 (Ned/Cat, Brandon)

Old Robert: Now ever since Ned put that ring on her finger, Cat had been...well... extra affectionate. 

Ned: My love, no. I have a twenty-five paged paper on unconstitutional law due on Monday, I barely started, 

Cat: Hey, I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring... my beautiful ring. Kind of makes wearing other stuff seem wrong. Like my shirt. Kind of don't wanna wear my shirt anymore. Or... my underwear. Oh-that's right-I'm not wearing any. 

Ned: (Closes laptop screen) No underwear? 

Cat: Not slightly. (Scene widens to show Brandon is on the couch listening) 

Brandon: Guys, boundaries!

(Cat and Ned blushing furiously)


	6. S:1 Ep:2 (Ned/Cat, Brandon)

(Ned and Cat in bed after s*x) 

(Phone rings, Ned answers) 

Ned: Hello? 

Brandon: (on Phone) Hey, am I interrupting anything? (Holding party mixes) 

Ned: No, no I'm just writing my paper. Hitting the books. 

Brandon: (on Phone) Yeah, well you and Cat might wanna put some clothes on.   
We're throwing a party in two hours. Okay, bye (hangs up)


	7. Brooklyn 99 (Theon, Ned)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Police Station AU

Theon: Thanks, Dad... Why is everyone staring at me?

Sandor: You just called Captain Stark dad; you said thanks, dad.

Theon: What? No, I didn't. I said thanks, man.

Ned: Do you see me as a father figure, Greyjoy?

Theon: No, if anything, I see you as a bother figure, 'cause you're always bothering me.

Jeor: Hey! You show your father some respect!


	8. Brooklyn 99 (Shireen/Rickon)

Shireen: You’re not exactly the king of mature relationships.

Rickon: Fair enough. But I would argue that I’m like a beautiful angel of love who has trouble finding love for himself.  
Admit that you would see that movie!

Shireen: I would


	9. Mean Girls (Cersei, Olenna)

Cersei: Can I just say that we don’t have a clique problem at this school?  
And some of us shouldn’t have to take this workshop, because some of us are just victims in this situation?

Olenna Tyrell: That’s probably true.  
How many of you have ever felt personally victimized by Cersei Lannister?

Everybody raises hands


	10. Friends AU (Robb/Margaery, Loras)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where is little Ned gonna go if Marg and Robb die?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some context since there was some confusion. Thanksgiving dinner. Robb and Margaery have a baby, little Ned. Sansa and Sandor are married. In the event that Robb and Marg die, Sansa and Sandor would get little Ned. Loras is not happy.

Loras: Ok, how about this? If you guys die, and the crazy plate lady dies then do I get the baby?

Sandor: No, if crazy plate lady dies...if Sansa dies then I would get Little Ned, right?

Margaery: Well, actually…

Sandor: Actually, what?

Robb: It’s just that in that case then Ned would go to Jon.

Sandor: What?

Loras: (To Sandor) Hurts, doesn't it?

Rickon: Who has to die for me to get him.


	11. Sansa and Theon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theon and Sansa as children. Sansa is about 7 and Theon around 12 in my head.

Sansa: Well, I made this friendship bracelet for you.

Theon: You know I’m not really a jewelry person.

Sansa: You don’t have to wear it.

Theon: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.


	12. (Brandon, Ned, Lyanna, Benjen)

Brandon: Benjen, you’re getting older now, you’re gonna have to start acting your own age.

Lyanna, sprinting by: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

Brandon: *on top of the refrigerator* HAHA YOU LOSE BEN

Benjen: I just-

Ned: *on the couch reading a book*  
Nop Benjen those are the rules. You lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credit to @smallangryspider on tumblr it was originaly a Peter Parker and Tony Stark post


	13. Chapter 13

Brandon: Benjen, you’re getting older now, you’re gonna have to start acting your own age.

Lyanna, sprinting by: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

Brandon: *on top of the refrigerator* HAHA YOU LOSE BEN

Benjen: I just-

Ned: *on the couch reading a book*   
Nop Benjen those are the rules. You lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credit to @smallangryspider on tumblr


	14. (Ned, Sansa, Arya)

Ned: My daughters are pure innocent small rays of sunshine that must be protected at all times.

Ned: Except for Arya, Arya needs no protection.

Ned: She is ruthless, she will destroy you.

Ned: She will burn everything you love and innocently and sweetly smile down at you while your life falls to pieces around your kneeling form.

Ned: …

Ned: but Sansa is pure and innocent, truly the sweetest kid in Westeros.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to @chamiryokuroi on tumblr


	15. Ned

How Ned's execution should have gone

Joffrey: Bring me his head.

Ned: Hold on, let me ask Cat

Joffrey: It’s not a choic…

Ned: She said no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credit to @cassianandfenrysaremyboyos on tumblr again original a Marvel post


	16. S:1 Ep:3 (Tyrion, Jaime)

(Cab pulls up right beside Podrick. Tyrion's head pops out of the window.) 

Tyrion: Get in the cab. Jaime you too. 

Jaime: Oh, I wish I could... I think Brienne and I are just goi... 

Tyrion: I understand. (To Podrick) Get in the cab. 

Podrick: Why can Jaime say no? 

Tyrion: Uhh... because he's getting laid. 

Jaime: Consistently.


	17. S:1 Ep:3 (Elia, Ashara)

Elia: I'm so glad we finally get to hang out just the two of us! 

Ashara: Yeah. 

Elia: You sure you're okay giving up your Friday night to hang with an old almost-married lady? 

Ashara: Oh please, I'm so sick of the "meet-market" scene. Guys are like a subway. You miss one, another one comes along in five minutes. 

Elia: Unless it's the end of the night, then you get on anything. 

Ashara: Heyow!


	18. S:1 Ep:3 (Robb/Margaery)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Margaery feels frustrated that everyone is hitting on Sansa. So she takes Robbs ring of to try to catch some attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a little bit longer than normal, but I hope you still like it.

Sansa: Ooh, look, a booth opened up. 

Margaery: Really. 

Sansa: Yeah, I thought we could finally go talk, and you're not listening to me, so I'm going to walk away. (notices Margaery is busy staring at a stranger) 

Margaery: Yeah, yeah...booth (throws purse to Sansa, spots a man. Sansa leaves to go to the booth. Man walks up to Margaery.) 

Renly: Hey. 

Margaery: (Smiling) Hey. (Silence) I'm engaged, sorry. (Puts ring on) I took my ring off! It's very, very sweet of you to come over and talk to me, but I... just... 

Renly: Yeah, I'm gay. Just came over to let you know that you sat on a grape. (Margaery peels squashed grape off her dress) 

Margaery: Oh, damn it! (Takes ring off and places it in her pocket, upset)

Sansa: (On Phone) Maraery's phone. 

Robb: (On Phone) Sans! Uh... Where's Marge? 

Margaery: (On Phone) She's uh... 

Robb: (On Phone) Is she talking to some hot guy? Oh, you can tell me. It's totally cool. It was my idea! Hell, I told her she could take the ring off. 

Sansa: (On Phone) Really? Well I thought it was kinda weird, but if you're cool with it. Yeah. It's off and she's talking to some guy. Do you want me to go over and... 

Robb: (On Phone) No! Don't interrupt, it's awesome. So the ring is really off, huh? (Realizing what he's done) It's awesome... Well just tell her I called and... tell her that... she's awesome. (Hangs up. Sings dryly) Really, really awesome. Our relationship is built on mutual trust. (Dryly) I can't breathe!

Renly: I'll get some Club Soda for that stain. (Leaves) 

Sansa: (enters) Margaery, I thought tonight was about us hanging out, what are you doing? 

Margaery: Just fending up the advances of that totally hot guy. 

Sansa: Dude, I think that guy is gay. 

Margaery: (Gives in) Oh, I know that guy is gay. Just Robb and I have been together for nine years. I haven't been single since high school. 

Sansa: You wanna be single? (Laughs) You wanna fight off loser guys all night, does that seem like fun to you? 

Margaery: I guess I wanted to throw this net back into the ocean and see how many fish I could catch. So far, one. One gay dolphin. (Smiles) 

Sansa: And Robb. Marge, all these girls here tonight are looking to catch what you've already got. 

Margaery: You're right I know. Hey do you wanna get some coffee and have an actual conversation? 

Sansa: If, by "Coffee" you mean "Cheesecake", then yes. 

Renly: (enters) Hey, I got that Club Soda. Let's see that booty. (Margaery bends over for him to clean the stain, Robb walks in) 

Margaery: Oh, thank you so much. 

Robb (infuriated): You wanna mess pal? That's my fiancé's hot backside that you're dabbing. 

Margaery: Robb, no. 

Robb: Baby, please don't ever take that ring off again. No matter how awesome I say that it is. 

Renly: It's okay, man... 

Robb: BACK OFF HOMBRE. I'm not that afraid to fight you. You wanna test this guy? Be my guest! 

Margaery: Marshall, he's gay! 

Robb: Oh, thank god... I've never been in a fight before. (hugs him)   
Renly: You don't say! 

(Scene Freezes) 

Narrator: So it turns out Uncle Robb really was the jealous type. Unfortunately, that guys boyfriend... also the jealous type. 

(Scene Unfreezes) 

(Loras pulls Robb off Renly and punches him, Robb rops him on the floor) 

Margaery, Sansa: Hey!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not super happy with this chapter.   
> I know it doesn't fit exactly.   
> Like Sansa having a better gaydare than Margaery, Margaery not knowing Renly, Loras not knowing Robb and Robb never being in a fight before.   
> But I couldn't think of better people for the dialog.


	19. Friends AU (Theon/Sansa, Robb)

Robb caught Theon and Sansa in a very compromising position

Robb(Yelling): I can’t believe this!! My BEST FRIEND and my sister!

Theon: I love her.

Sansa: I love him too!

Robb (now really happy): My best friend and my sister.

Bid hug occurs


	20. Friends AU (Tywin, Cersei)

Shortly after Myrcella was born. At Myrcellas crib.

Tywin: Look at her, my first grandchild.

Cersei: What about Joffrey?!

Tywin: Well of course Joffrey, I meant my first granddaughter.

Tywin makes a face towards Jamie behind Cersei's back.


	21. S:1 Ep:4 (Jon/Satin, Jon/Ygritte)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon wants to date again. Robb and Sansa suggest some old flames.

Sansa: That's not a bad idea. Let's think, Jon's greatest hits... what about that guy, Satin? 

Jon: Satin... 

[Flashback to Dinner with Satin] 

Satin: Okay, back when I lived in LA, I was pretty broke, so I spent a month making adult films. 

Jon: Wow, okay... how many did you make? 

Satin: A-hundred-and-seventy-five. 

[Flashback ends] 

Sansa: Say what you will about the porn industry... they are hard workers. 

Robb: What about that chick...um...Ygritte? 

[Flashback to Dinner with Ygritte] 

Jon: And my bathing suit had fallen completely off. 

Ygritte: (laughs with Jon) I know the feeling, once... when I was sixteen, I was driving, and I hit this hitchhiker. Don't know what happened to him... just kept drivin'! (Laughs)   
[Flashback ends] 

Jon: Uh...no.


	22. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a classic but still.

Robert pointing towards Cat:   
What, so you go over there, you tell her she's cute. What's the worst that could happen?

Ned: She could here me!!


	23. Friends (Ned, Cat)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned and Cat as the Gellers at Ross/Emily (Robb/Jeyne) wedding.

Cat : Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.

Ned : (embarrassed) Cat, the kids..

Cat : Ned, that’s what they call the subway.

Ned : Ohh, I thought that you....

Robb and Arya : Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!

Jeyne : Ohh, here comes my dad and mom. Mister and Misses Stark, this is Gawen and Sybell Westerling.

Mr. Westerling : (Shaking everyone’s hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling it’s the Starks. (She pays no attention, she’s talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, it’s the Starks. (She’s still not responding.) She’s very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.

Mrs. Westerling : (Looking evilly at her husband) Sorry, what?

Mr. Westerling : It’s the Starks!

Mrs. Westerling : Where?

Mr. Westerling : Well there’s one (pointing towards Ned) and there’s another (pointing towards Cat).

Mrs. Westerling : Lovely to meet you.

Mr. Westerling : Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hands a multipage bill to Ned.)

Ned : Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, we’re happy to do it.

[Camera pans to the Stark family table. Robb, Arya, Ned, and Cat are there.]

Ned : (Looking at the wedding bill.) What the hell!!!

Robb : What’s up, Dad?

Ned : This bill for my half of the wedding. It’s insane.

Cat : How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.

Ned : (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, re carpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. I’m paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) I’m going to give that son of a bitch, a piece of my mind.

Robb : (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I don’t want anything to upset Jeyne tonight. Alright, she’s had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?

Ned : And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Starks.

Cat : Ooh, Ned....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)

Arya : (Looking nauseous from her parents kissing.) And I’m going to go get drunk. (Gets up to get a drink.)

Robb is at the Westerling's table discussing the bill.

Robb : Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.

Mr. Westerling : Ahh, then you have to give us the lawn ornaments.

Robb : I go back there with lawn ornaments, he’s going to laugh in my face.

Mrs. Westerling : This is ridiculous. I mean we had an agreement. (Robb looks frustrated. She begins to scream at her husband.) Will you say something, Gawen?! Please!!!

Mr. Westerling : Don’t take that tone with me. (She looks evilly at him.) All-all right you can. (He looks over at Robb and shrugs.)

Later:

Cat : There’s nothing to discuss. We’re not paying for your wine cellar.

Mr. Westerling : (Pleading.) You-you have to meet me in the middle here.

Ned : (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foot is going to meet the middle of your ass.

Robb : Dad!! (Jeyne comes running in.)

Jeyne : What-what’s going on?!

Robb : Nothing, nothing. Everything’s under control.

Mr. Westerling : You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what you're saying? (Pointing at Ned and poking him) You want a piece of me?

Robb : (Stepping in between them.) Okay! Okay! That’s it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) That’s right!!

Ned : Okay, okay.

Mr. Westerling : Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. (They all walk away. As he leaves he mutters to Ned.) I could kill you with my thumb, you know.


	24. Theon/Robb

Theon (texting): YARA IM REALLY DRUNK AND I FUCKED UP SOME HOT GUY WALKED INTO THE PARTY AND I YELLED DIPS

Robb (texting): SANSA I CAME THROUGH THE DOOR AT THE PARTY AND THEON YELLED DIPS, I DON'T THINK HE EVEN RECOGNIZED ME


	25. Sansa & Arya

Arya: I have no parental figures telling me not to wrestle bears

Sansa: I'm that parental figure. DO NOT WRESTLE BEARS!!!


	26. Cat/Ned, Robert

Robert: Hey Cat, are you free on Friday? Like around 8pm?

Cat: Yes?

Robert: What about you Ned?

Ned: Yes, i am

Robert: Great, because i’m not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date

Ned: Did she just-

Cat: Yes he did!


	27. Sansa, Theon, Robb

Sansa: I brought reinforcements.

Theon: Great! You brought Robb?

Sansa: The next best thing.

Theon: You brought Jon? The next best thing would be Arya!

Jon: I would be offended, but Arya is freakishly strong, so….


	28. Lysa, Ned, Edmure

Lysa: We're Tullys we don't trust anyone to take care of our children outside of blood family. I barely trust Edmure with Robin

Edmure: And I'm offended but I get it

Ned: Oh come on! I know everything thing I need to know

Lysa: Oh you think you got it? Ok! Bed Time?

Ned: 6pm weekdays, 8pm weekend 

Lysa: Blood type?Ned: O-negativEdmure: Wrong! Red!

Lysa: I got this Edmure! Tuna or Peanut butter sandwich?

Ned: Trick question he is allergic to both


	29. Theon/Robb, Loras

Theon: It's not gay if I wanna date Robb in like a buddy way, right?

Jon: I'm no expert but that sounds pretty gay.

Loras: I'm an expert, that's gay!


	30. Cat/Ned, Robert

Ned: Hey has anyone seen my top?

Robert: Yeah, Cat is in the kitchen.

Brandon: *spits out his drink*


	31. Arya, Sansa, Theon, Robb

Sansa: Where did Theon go yesterday?

Arya: Robb decided it's time for him to see a therapist.

Sansa: Oh, how did that go?

Arya: Well the therapist is seeing a therapist now so…


	32. Ned/Cat

Ned: I'm a wolf! I don't back out of a fight! Cat, I will protect you from this beast!

(Ned Stark drunk at 2am trying to fight a cardboard cut-out of Simba that Rickon ordered online)


	33. Ned, Robert, Jon A.

Jon Arryn: Aside from adoption the only other choice is insemination, so... we're talking about sperm donors.

Robert: Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?

Jon Arryn: (stopping Robert) ah-ha!

Ned: How do you feel about all this?

Jon Arryn: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.

Robert: Come on Ned, be a good guy. Step up and do it!

Ned: (puzzled) What?

(Robert moves close to Ned and whispers something in his ear)

Ned: (looking astonished) What? NO! I am not going to give them Robb!


	34. Ned/Cat Arya, Sansa, Bran

Cat: Listen up everyone, big news!

Sansa: Oh please tell us your not having another baby

Cat: No, we're not having another baby and I can assure you we will never be making that announcement ever again

Sansa: Yeah this family is big enoughArya: Hey, you completely clear on that dad?

Ned: Why are you pointing your finger at me? Having babies is a team affordBran: What do you mean?

Arya: This should be good

Ned: Back to the big announcement, WE'RE GOING ON A FAMILY VACATION


	35. Cat, Lysa, Arya

Cat: Arya, sweetie. Hi! 

Arya: Mom, I said I'd meet you at the car. Ugh. 

Lysa (hands Cat Edmures baby): Here 

Cat: Thank you. Still wish you had a daughter? 

Lysa: Robbin didn't want me at the game today. 

Cat: Oh, I'm sorry. 

Lysa: It's okay. 

Cat: No, it's not okay. It sucks. 

Lysa: I miss babies. They never tell you to go away. Or wait in the car. 

Cat: I don't know about you, But I'm not gonna stand here and feel sorry for myself. 

Lysa: You know what we should do? 

Cat: Get pregnant. 

Lysa: I was gonna say go for ice cream. 

Cat: Okay, we'll do yours first.


	36. Arya, Robb, Sansa

Arya cooking breakfast

Robb: Any chance that's for me?

Arya: It's for mom. I'm planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need her on my side.

Sansa: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.


	37. Arya, Bran

Bran: I am an expert at identifying birds 

Arya: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?

Bran: Yeah, those are definitely all birds


End file.
